I don‘t have a lot of photographs of my dad, at least none that I took myself. We have a very uncomfortable relationship. He was often away for work while I was growing up, and when I was sent abroad to attend high school, I barely saw him except during the holidays. I had always been very afraid of him. My fear grew when I realized that I was gay. He doesn‘t ever say much, especially in front of his children. I would only hear things about him through my mom, who had always acted as some kind of middle person in our relationship.
The picture was taken during the winter break of my sophomore year in college. We were spending some time in Jakarta, and my father had just gotten back from a business trip in China. I convinced myself that I needed to have at least one picture of him that I took myself.
featured in romka # 8, 2013